It has been a while since my last blog post- life is hectic here in the Sacker household!!! Harry is growing up so quickly- his personality is shining through already and he is such a fun, happy baby! Richie is a typical 2 almost 3 year old- lots of attitude and energy, but he is still a mumma's boy at heart and really enjoys his younger brother. Terry is working as hard as ever which we are greatful for and I'm just super busy with the two boys and trying to find time for housework and business time.
I went to a fundraiser high tea on the weekend, supporting premature mothers and their babies- whether the outcome was positive or not. And I took a couple of things away from that day.
The first was that Terry and I are extremely lucky- Richie was born spontaneously at 34 weeks so his lungs weren't strong enough to breathe on his own. We are constantly reminded about how lucky we are that he hasn't suffered any long term physical issues from this birth (none that we are aware of yet) nor any emotional/social issues to date.
Carrying on from this, I always feel a bit of guilt when talking about my premmie birth experience to other premmie mums as Richie was born a lot later than other premature babies, and so other prem babies may suffer or have suffered other ............things other than just poor lungs- like heart or gut problems. I have never shied away from the fact that I struggled having Richie in hospital for 4 weeks, both mentally and physically, so when I talk about this with other mums I feel like I'm almost apologising for my story- I have found myself starting sentences with "I know Richie was only born at 34 weeks but...".
I know I should never feel like I have to apologise or belittle my story as everyone has a different story and reacts differently, but this reaction from me comes without thinking. I feel like my story isn't as important or significant as others as we have had a happy ending. And then comes the mum guilt- the dreaded mum guilt.
I still think to this day that I am still processing Richies birth, even though it was almost three years ago, and so I am still going through all these emotions and processes from the birth.
I know that my story is important, and without this experience I wouldn't have found my passion for helping others in a similar situation and I never would have dreamed of being a small business owner before Richie so as the saying goes, a blessing in disguise :)
It's been almost 3 months since Harry was born and everything is going great. We are all settled in as a family of 4, Richie is loving his baby brother- he calls Harry his best friend(super cute!!)
Harry's personality is starting to shine through now. He is super laid back but still has the cheeky smile that his big brother has. I will definitely have my hands full in a few years with these two!!
So back to another topic that I covered while pregnant- breastfeeding. As most of you know from previous blog write ups, I struggled with breastfeeding Richie, which I put down partially to him being a premature baby and my body just not being ready for it yet. This time around with Harry, I breastfed exclusively for his first two weeks, then had to add formula top-ups onto his feeds as I wasn't producing enough milk for him. I have decided in the last week that I cant keep on doing top-ups anymore as it was too time consuming for me to breastfeed for 20mins, then add a bottle feed on top of that- Richie isn't the most patient toddler so he needs my time a lot at the moment. I feel that just formula feeds is the best thing for our situation- I was starting to feel a bit of anxiety about my breastfeeding capabilities so by only doing formula feeds this has helped with my anxiety. I was starting to feel a bit down about how I couldn't produce enough milk, was feeling a bit frustrated about the boob and bottle feeds and was feeling a bit down that my body just wouldn't produce more milk, even though I was doing everything possible(within my toddler/time constraints) to produce more, and trying everything to increase the supply.
Luckily for me, Terry is very supportive with however I feed Harry- he just wants me to do whatever is easiest and best for me. I did say to him that it could sound like I'm being lazy with my decision to stop breastfeeding as a couple of people have commented that if I tried a bit more that I would produce more. But the way I justify my decision(not that I have to justify it) is that its the best way for me to keep my sanity. Plus it always helps when hubby can help me with the feeds!
I do miss breastfeeding Harry and at first he missed it too as he was always nuzzling into my boobs, but this was a decision which had to be made. And as they say, fed is best :)
Anyone else had a tough time breastfeeding??
Wow!!! Talk about how time flies!!! Harry is now over 8 weeks old now and it just feels like yesterday that he was born!! We have had our 6-8 week check ups with the GP and Harry and I are doing well and Harry had his first lot of vaccinations, which he didn't like but didn't cry for too long!!!
Even now I'm still seeing differences in my experiences with Richie and Harry. I'm surprised at how quickly Harry is growing- he is putting weight on like a champ and therefore filling his clothes nicely, has great head control and is smiling and cooing too. I'm not sure if it was because Richie was premature or if its just because its been two and a half years since Richie was a baby, but I don't remember Richie developing like this at Harry's age. I'm still feeling like Harry is my first baby- as Richie was prem its all we know so getting used to full term baby milestones is taking its time.
As most mothers do, I saved some of Richies clothes as hand me downs for Harry. And this week, Harry wore one of Richies onesies and it made me realise just how small Richie was when he was a baby. I have photos of Richie wearing it when he was around 5 months of age and Harry is wearing it and he isn't even 2 months old yet!!!
It just amazes me that the boys can be so similar and yet so different!! Can anyone else relate?? Are your kids complete opposites, very similar or both??
We have been home from hospital for just over 4 weeks now, which means that Terry is back at work now. It was so nice having him home to help me out for the first 2 weeks- having him help out with Richie was a lifesaver as Richie didn't quite understand why mummy couldn't lift him up or run around after him.
Ive been struggling a bit with breastfeeding - once again my supply isn't enough to solely feed Harry from the boob so have been topping him up with formula. At first, I was told just to feed him whenever he was hungry but that turned into Harry waking every hour to be fed(obviously coz I wasn't giving him enough to sleep for too long), so we decided to use the formula aswell as my sleep and sanity were affected by the constant feeding.
I have to say that this time around I'm feeling overwhelmed and a bit unsure about looking after Harry as this is the first time Ive had a newborn at home. Richie didn't come home til he was 4 weeks old and by then he already had a feeding routine so even though he would still wake up for feeds, it was every 4 hrs so it wasn't as much of a struggle. With Harry, at first I was waking every 2-3 hrs and wasnt sure if he was hungry or just needing a cuddle or had gas. At the moment, he is sleeping quite well, so his feeds must be keeping him content but its only week 5 so Im not expecting these good nights to continue. Its definitely more of an at home challenge this time around.
Being able to have Harry home straight away has made me realise what we missed out on when Richie was born and in the hospital. At this stage with Richie, it hadn't really sunk in that I was a mum as I couldn't take me baby out with me to the shops, or to show him off to family and friends. I'm loving the opportunity to take Harry with me wherever I go at the moment- mostly because he is such a chilled baby, so when its leap time my feelings may change :)
Well, it has been a few weeks since I have written my blog but its been super busy!!!
We welcomed Harrison Randolph Sacker into the world on 3rd November, but it wasnt as easy a labour as I was hoping it would be.
it all started as a normal labour story, waters broke and so we went to the hospital. Once the contractions started labour was progressing nicely, but towards the end of labour Harry's heart rate wasnt recovering between contractions so the forceps were brought intot the equation. This is where things get complicated. Somehow the forceps were touching/flicking my Sciatic nerve which was causing me great pain(more painful than the contractions!!!) and so the Dr couldnt pull out Harry without me screaming in agony, and so the decision was made to go to theatre, give me a spinal tap and pull out Harry safe and sound. To add on top of the labour, I had a lot of blood loss and so also had to have an iron transfusion, which took a while to kick in, and so was tired and easily breathless for the first week or so after Harry was born. In total, labour was 5 and a half hrs and the most traumatic experience I have ever had. The Drs and nursing staff at Joondalup Hospital were fantastic and cant recommend them enough.
So even though Harry's birth was traumatic for both of us, we only stayed at the hospital a couple of nights and we are loving being home as a family of 4. As you can tell from the photo below, Harry had some bruising and abrasions to his face but it was all superficial and I'm happy to say that everything has gone down and there is no scarring to be seen! Richie is slowly adjusting to having his brother around- he is still a typical 2 yr old with the tantrums and the defiance but the moments when he is such a loving,caring brother just melts my heart!!!
So I have reached my final milestone that I wanted to achieve during this pregnancy!!!! I now have a full term baby (37 weeks is considered full term). Now while this may not seem like a big deal, it is for me as its something I have worried about during this pregnancy and now that I have been passed this important stage I feel so many emotions- relief, happiness and worry just to name a few.
I'm excited as I know my baby boy is mostly developed so I don't have to worry about any possible hospital stays and that with him being full term , with the birth going according to plan, we will be able to take him home within a day or 2 of delivery- I'm so excited about that as I feel with Richie we missed out on the full experience as we had to wait 4 weeks til we could bring him home.
I'm also nervous about the next 3 weeks as I haven't been this far along in a pregnancy before so I feel like this is my first pregnancy! All the late 3rd trimester symptoms are all new for me so I'm complaining a lot, which Terry has been great for listening to all my whining. I have been suffering from the usual sore back, tight belly and tiredness that would normally be expected, but I didn't expect to get the swollen hands and feet(but no cankles yet!) I think these surprised me as I wasn't expecting to be this far along during the pregnancy so I didn't think about me having all this water retention.
Any suggestions on how to reduce the swelling???
(Ive even had to take my rings off as they were getting too tight on my fingers!)
Well, I've passed all of my milestones I wanted to reach, bar one.
As I have already mentioned in my previous post, I have had my baby shower this time around and have been pregnant while it occurred, but I have also gone past two more milestones since my last post.
Firstly, I have finally been able to experience maternity leave- with Richie my waters broke the morning after I finished work so I had no time to 'nest' or prepare or even just relax before he was born. So far, I have had a week of maternity leave and no baby so its been a productive week for me, doing odds and ends around the house and watching a bit of Netflix that doesn't include any kids cartoons!!
Secondly, I've been pregnant this time around for longer than when I was pregnant with Richie!! This was a huge milestone for me to get past, as it was always in the back of my mind from about 30 weeks til I hit 34 weeks that baby Sacker could come early, and now that I have passed the 34 weeks gestation I feel like I can relax that little bit more. However, with me saying that, I feel like im experiencing something new with this pregnancy, as I have never been this far along I now dont know what to expect- everything is new to me again!! Im starting to understand other women when they say they feel so uncomfortable at this stage of the pregnancy :)
My final milestone is to have a full term baby, so will have to wait and see if bub will stay in for at least another 2 and a bit weeks!!! There is a running joke with my family and friends that this time around the baby will be overdue as I have been so prepared for a premature baby last time, this time will be opposite!! I don't really know what to think about that as I'm starting to feel quite uncomfortable now so I can really imagine how I'm going to feel in 6 weeks time!!
Another few more week gone, and one step closer to baby Sacker being full term!!! Im starting to slow down now, with my back starting to ache and moving slower- and as Terry likes to remind me, Im starting to waddle :)
I had my grandfathers funeral since I wrote my last blog and I tell you what, funerals are tough enough as it is, but add pregnancy hormones(plus lack of sleep due to a pain in the bum toddler) and it is 10 times more emotional and draining!!! Luckily Terry is an amazing hubby and has been super supportive and apart from the restless nights, RIchie has been reasonably well behaved!
I also had my baby shower on the weekend just gone, and it felt amazing to celebrate baby Sacker with my family and close friends while the baby was still in my tummy- when I had my baby shower with RIchie, he was already one week old and in NICU and so my mind wasn't 100% at the baby shower, it was preoccupied with my many thoughts about my small, premature baby in hospital. The two baby showers were totally different experiences, and I'm so glad I got to experience a shower while pregnant.
Its getting to the stage of this pregnancy where I'm counting the milestones I'm reaching that I didn't manage to get to while pregnant with Richie. My first milestone was to have my baby shower while pregnant, so that's one milestone down, more to follow (hopefully!). My next milestone is to have at least one day of maternity leave- with Richie I finished work Friday afternoon and by Saturday morning he was born! This time around I finish work this Friday so will see if we reach this milestone!
I'm getting really excited about bubs arrival, I cant wait to meet him and give him cuddles!! I also cant wait to see Richie's face when he sees his baby brother- he is going to be in for a shock :)
Well, what a few weeks it has been!!! Has had a lot of ups and downs, which is really draining and tiring me out at the moment!!!
Firstly, I had my first cold of the winter(I'm pretty stoked it took til August to catch it!!), which sucks more than usual as pregnant women cant take cold and flu pills, then my hayfever has started up, so its just all sniffles and sneezing from me lately, which is super attractive!
Its also been tiring as Richie and Terry have also had the cold so my sleep at night has been affected, which equals one tired mumma!!
I also had to deal with the loss of my granddad this week, which was expected to a point as he had cancer but its always hard to say goodbye to a family member!! Now, normally I'm an emotional person at the best of times, but these pregnancy hormones are taking its toll as I feel like I'm just one sad thought away from breaking down into tears!! I can only imagine what I'm going to be like at the funeral!! Gotta love hormones :)
On the upside, Ive been to the antenatal clinic and baby Sacker is going well with a good heartrate and growing well. The midwife has said that there is no indication that this bubba will be premature so it is a waiting game- hopefully he lasts til term!!!
And Ive packed my hospital bag too- i know i will have forgotten something to pack but I think I have the essentials.
Feel free to leave any comments on what I should pack for my hospital bag- everything is appreciated!!
Another week of being pregnant, still feeling reasonably well- no major aches and pains, just getting bigger and finding it harder to sit on the floor and play with Richie.
I want to touch on another subject which affected me while RIchie was in hospital- breastfeeding.
Last week was World Breastfeeding Week and seeing all the publicity surrounding this campaign brought up a lot of memories of breastfeeding Richie while he was in NICU and HDU. I just want to say first off that I'm not one of these mothers that thinks breast is best and that formula feeding a baby is a no-go (I think most premmie mums don't really have a choice in this matter when their bub is in hospital), my motto has always been fed is best. And while I would have loved to be able to breastfeed Richie when he was born, it took my body a while to adjust to these new circumstances,
My problem was that I wasn't producing enough milk for my little man (which I think was partly because he was premature and my body wasn't ready to produce lots of milk). Once the hospital staff realised that I wasn't producing enough they sent down the lactation consultants- which I think put more pressure on me to breastfeed, which in turn made me stressed every time I went to feed him. Instead of enjoying this bonding experience with my son, I was more worried about the act of breastfeeding. There came a point about three weeks into Richie's stay in the hospital, where I just broke down in tears due to the pressure of wanting to breastfeed, and one of the nurses said the most memorable things to me- she said, don't stress about breastfeeding, if its meant to be, its meant to be. there is no shame in having a formula fed baby, and then went on to say that her last child was a formula only fed baby and she said that it was a blessing as her husband could help out a lot more with the baby. After this day, I wasn't so hard on myself for not being able to breastfeed my son adequately and tried to dismiss any unwanted pressure from other people about breastfeeding.
So when baby number 2 comes around, I will be better prepared for the pressure of breastfeeding- I will be willing to stick it out for a week or two but ultimately I also have to think about my mental and emotional health, so if it isn't meant to be this time around, I wont be stressing about it.
Anyone else have any breastfeeding stories they wish to share??(good or bad)
My name is Briana and I am a wife to Terry, a mother to ,my gorgeous 2 year old son Richie with another bub on the way.